


Twerk'd

by crazygirlne



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Potential for secondhand embarassment, Twerk or Die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazygirlne/pseuds/crazygirlne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose did something the planet they were visiting classified as overtly sexual, and the Doctor is required to claim her as his mate in order to save her life.</p>
<p>The method of claiming isn't a shag, but a dance. A <i>twerk.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Twerk'd

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally Caedmon's fault; she couldn't imagine a scenario in which Nine would twerk, ever.
> 
> I felt compelled to prove her wrong ;)

He'd imagined it, of course; with a companion like Rose Tyler, who wouldn't?

Never, though, had the Doctor imagined it would happen like this, that when he finally broke down and danced provocatively for the woman he loved, he would be _twerking._

Jeopardy friendly, that's what she was. Rose Tyler had walked through town swaying her hips. Not that she always did that, mind, but even he had to admit the music was catchy.

He _didn't_ have to admit how much he'd fancied the way she walked, how she was able to exude sex appeal from a simple sway with each step.

Still though, now here they were, in this planet's version of a police station, and he'd just been informed that Rose would be arrested if he didn't claim her.

By _twerking._

They didn't call it that, of course, but it was the same thing. One of the stupidest dances that the stupid apes had ever invented, and he was having to do it here, in front of Rose, or she'd be held and then executed, and he wasn't sure he could get her out safely once she was locked up.

He'd have to do it.

It was a matter of life and death.

His arms crossed, he looked at Rose, ready to remind her he was doing this for her. Rose looked mortified, though; her face was red, and she couldn’t quite meet his eyes. The Doctor sighed and stepped forward, putting his hands on her shoulders and waiting until she looked at him properly.

“I’ll be fine, Rose. Been through worse, me.”

“I know, but you don’t want to do this, Doctor, and you have to because of me, because of somethin’ that I did.”

“Least they only need dancing to stake a claim.” He raised his eyebrows. “They could require _dancing,_ and that’d be a mite more uncomfortable to do for an audience.” Not by much, though, probably.

Hearing it helped, though, and a tiny smile pulled at Rose’s lips. “Yeah. Right.”

The city administrator cleared his throat. “We’ve gathered the witnesses required,” he said, nodding toward the various city officials who’d shown up. “Once I start the music, you may begin. Remember, you must maintain eye contact with your mate the entire time.”

Rose flushed again, and the Doctor tore his eyes away from her long enough to nod toward the administrator. He moved his eyes back to Rose as the music started, some catchy song he’d have been fine with moving to if it weren’t like this.

Regardless, it was necessary. He started moving slowly, finding both movement and rhythm with some difficulty.

Most of the difficulty, though, came from the look of guilt on Rose’s face. She watched him, obeying the requirement for eye contact, but she was clearly still blaming herself, and he couldn’t stand seeing Rose miserable.

It was good incentive to finally fall into something that might resemble a dance, by whatever twisted ideals had invented twerking as a dance in the first place, but even with him a little more comfortable, Rose still looked upset. With an internal sigh, he set about fixing that.

He started bobbing his head in time with the music, at about half the speed he moved his pelvic region. She blinked at him, looking confused.

Not enough.

He put more energy into the head bob, pursing his lips, and he wiggled his shoulders. He was a little proud, honestly, that he was able to do all these things at once. His superior biology paid off, too, when a smile finally spread across Rose’s face.

The smile was followed by a giggle, and the giggle was followed by full-on laughter, and the Doctor found himself grinning, a genuine smile as he relaxed into the ridiculous dance.

The song was mercifully short, and when the music ended, the Doctor let loose a relieved, “I did it!” while still smiling at Rose. She laughed again and flung her arms around his neck. His closed around her automatically, and he grinned over her shoulder while she smiled into his chest.

“You may leave now,” the administrator said, turning away before the Doctor could even look at him, seemingly disinterested now that Rose had been properly claimed.

The Doctor let go of Rose, and she looked up at him, her eyes bright. “C’mon, Rose. Let’s go home.”

“Okay.” Her smile grew, her face scrunching up and a bit of tongue making an appearance. “I can’t believe you _did_ that.”

“Me, neither,” he said, and they started walking hand-in-hand toward the Tardis. “Our next stop should be Ral’kikor Nine. There, twerking is one of the only things that’s illegal.”


End file.
